Things Not To Do After 75, by Chuck Hall

July 24, 2025

by Chuck Hall

Chuck Hall shared his wit, wisdom, and reflections with readers of the Kinney County Post for years through his lighthearted column of musings and memories. We are honored to republish a selection of his writings in memory of a man who brought humor, warmth, and perspective to our pages—and our community.
Originally published on Thursday, February 9, 2023, Kinney County Post

As my birthday nears I am reminded of my limitations. If it’s not near your age then forget 75 years make it 75 drinks, 75 miles per hour, 75 who knows what. Make it 75 something. Anyway here’s my list.

Don’t drink cheap wine. If you can’t afford the good stuff, save up your money until you can. The cheap wine will make your head hurt the next day. So go for the good stuff.

Don’t eat extra bacon. It puts on lots of tonnage. And goodness knows what it does to your blood vessels. Limit your daily intake of hog siding to one pound. Per sitting.

Don’t skinny dip. Especially at 75. Those at my age look much better with wrapping on. Lots of it. And what would the grandkids think? At the very least wait until the darkest night.

Don’t buy a sports car. Those gadgets might have been ok back when they were financially out of reach. But now we would look foolish. And increase the likelihood of killing ourselves.

Don’t try to get back in shape in a short time. You’ll either die a slow painful death or quit after about 15 minutes. One way or the other, it’ll be over soon. And remember, round is a shape.

Don’t speed. The drug or the rate of doing something. Both are bad.

Don’t go fast. Not in a car or even walking. Take your time. That’s about all we have left at our disposal. Slow down.

Don’t buy a boat. Don’t make that purchase unless it’s very small (bathtub size) or for your grandkids. They’ll use it. You won’t. And when you fall overboard, you’re a gonner.

Don’t stop voting.

Don’t ever think that your grandchildren are smarter or better informed then you. What have they done? Our generation put a man on the moon. We made the neatest cars, the best music and developed the computer.

Don’t try to impress anyone. Just be yourself. You’re not that good looking. You can’t lift that much. You don’t have that much money. And you don’t write that well.

Don’t generate lists. You start out thinking there’ll be 10 ideas come to your mind. But you’re too old for that.

But I could be wrong.

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